Alyssa: "She who taught me" was an emotional piece and those are difficult to stay on task with. You do it well here. It was relatively short and descriptive in the sense a graphic novel would be, good job on the prompt. The next one, "La rad's stickers" is from what looks like the journal of a small child. Personally, I wasn't a big fan of this style, it looks too much like that journal entry. Even though the prompt asks for a child's perspective, I think we can still perform at a high level.
Chelsee: "Faith" A strength for this one was conveying your tone and emotion to the reader. Though, the writing was a bit off, nothing a quick read through wouldn't have fixed for you. "The redneck" this post reflects your desire to own a big ol' truck. Again, I'm sure I've mentioned it before, I feel all of out blog posts are too short to really be considered a story. For example, I think digging a bit into your experience of meeting your biological dad would have been more intriguing than just your love of trucks.
Leena: "Lost But Not..." You breeze by a potentially great story. Had you gone in depth with this post I feel it could have been really good. It's like reading a synopsis to a movie, it's a bit frustrating. Prompt 52, I said the same thing to Alyssa, even though the prompt asks for a child's perspective, I feel we can still write at a high level. It was like reading a journal entry from a small child, and we can improve from that.
Danger Zone
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Prompt 52: The Only Logical Conclusion
I remember my first time. Like any other day after school, I walked home in the 94 degree fall day and fell flat on the couch at home. I picked up the remote and went straight to UPN 45, we didn't have the luxury of cable. I looked at the rounded screen and thought, what's this? This isn't Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century?! Well, eleven year old version of myself, this is your exciting, almost sad future. Welcome to the world of Pokemon!
I'm sure it was meant to be a phenomenon, just like Pogs and the Dreamcast. Pokemon was not supposed to be the evolving anomaly it has become.
You will come to know it well. You'll watch this first episode of the series, bring yourself to tears over the main character's love of his creature, and you be the first in this subculture. Once the episode is over, you rushed to clock in the living room to make sure you knew the time for tomorrow's show. Three o'clock, that means the show comes on at two thirty. How did they pronounce the name? Pokeymon? Pokemon, that was it! Wait until everybody at school hears about this!
Of course today, not a soul needs an introduction to these little guys, these pocket monsters. They have constituted something like twenty video games, numerous tv series, and of course, one really good movie. Pokemon the First Movie will inevitably stand the test of time. A few months ago I sat with two good friends, in the middle of a party, and watched the entirety of the movie. We laughed, we cried, we hugged, we marveled at the philosophic values of Mewtwo; damn it, we lived.
The next day you practically ran to school, with the desire to greet everyone with the good news, Pokemon was here! You sat on the steps an the edge of the playground, kicking your feet that were dangling under you in anticipation. You need to talk to someone, anyone!
Today, there are two kinds of Pokemon fans. You have the new version, the kind with the three-hundred some odd Pokemon with their "Black" and "Diamond" abominations of games. Then you have people like me, people who live by "Red" version and will swear by Pokemon Stadium. To me, there are only one-hundred fifty Pokemon, as there are only twelve months in the year.
Is that Ryan? It most certainly is. You're going to tell him all about this show you just saw, only to learn that he, too, watched it yesterday. This is called the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
I'm sure it was meant to be a phenomenon, just like Pogs and the Dreamcast. Pokemon was not supposed to be the evolving anomaly it has become.
You will come to know it well. You'll watch this first episode of the series, bring yourself to tears over the main character's love of his creature, and you be the first in this subculture. Once the episode is over, you rushed to clock in the living room to make sure you knew the time for tomorrow's show. Three o'clock, that means the show comes on at two thirty. How did they pronounce the name? Pokeymon? Pokemon, that was it! Wait until everybody at school hears about this!
Of course today, not a soul needs an introduction to these little guys, these pocket monsters. They have constituted something like twenty video games, numerous tv series, and of course, one really good movie. Pokemon the First Movie will inevitably stand the test of time. A few months ago I sat with two good friends, in the middle of a party, and watched the entirety of the movie. We laughed, we cried, we hugged, we marveled at the philosophic values of Mewtwo; damn it, we lived.
The next day you practically ran to school, with the desire to greet everyone with the good news, Pokemon was here! You sat on the steps an the edge of the playground, kicking your feet that were dangling under you in anticipation. You need to talk to someone, anyone!
Today, there are two kinds of Pokemon fans. You have the new version, the kind with the three-hundred some odd Pokemon with their "Black" and "Diamond" abominations of games. Then you have people like me, people who live by "Red" version and will swear by Pokemon Stadium. To me, there are only one-hundred fifty Pokemon, as there are only twelve months in the year.
Is that Ryan? It most certainly is. You're going to tell him all about this show you just saw, only to learn that he, too, watched it yesterday. This is called the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Peer Review
Alyssa: Prompt 45 was very personal and whenever you write such a revealing piece, voice inevitably comes out. You have two speakers in this prompt, there was you over a year ago who seemed like the scope of the project was overcoming your excitement. Then there was you now who was clear minded and both relieved and excited. Both of the voices were excellent. "graophics" was a good opinion piece without knowing too much about the subject matter. Your stance was clearly stated and backed up with examples, your thought that graphic comics may be a better medium was intriguing. Good good.
Chelsee: "Sparky" Your prompt reminds me why I love people so much, aren't they just peachy? In any case, you do a swell job of changing the tone in the piece. First, it's about how your job has seeped into your normal life, then it morphs into the injustices of working. Well played.. " Graphic Novels vs. Comics" You defended your stance well, that you would enjoy to read graphic novels more. Through your argument, I believe you may have leaned towards the graphic novel being an swell medium for literature. Bueano.
Leena: 'Prompt 45' This piece here definitely conveys the monotonous tone you were going for. Your voice is there and I didn't spot any errors. I liked the line "monotonous Hell" that be it. The next prompt, 49, you clearly state your position of graphic novels as a medium for writing, and that issue is a big 'negative ghostrider' for you. That said, your voice was jolly and structure was swell.
Vaya con dios.
Chelsee: "Sparky" Your prompt reminds me why I love people so much, aren't they just peachy? In any case, you do a swell job of changing the tone in the piece. First, it's about how your job has seeped into your normal life, then it morphs into the injustices of working. Well played.. " Graphic Novels vs. Comics" You defended your stance well, that you would enjoy to read graphic novels more. Through your argument, I believe you may have leaned towards the graphic novel being an swell medium for literature. Bueano.
Leena: 'Prompt 45' This piece here definitely conveys the monotonous tone you were going for. Your voice is there and I didn't spot any errors. I liked the line "monotonous Hell" that be it. The next prompt, 49, you clearly state your position of graphic novels as a medium for writing, and that issue is a big 'negative ghostrider' for you. That said, your voice was jolly and structure was swell.
Vaya con dios.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Prompt 49: The New Face of Zero and One
Is a graphic novel an effective medium for memoir writing? Being a young individual, I am growing up in a time when graphic novels are strongly being considered, and by some already admitted, for entry into the literary canon. Now, whether or not the canon actually represents all of true literature is another prompt, but the fact that recognition is being given sheds light on the question. Yes, a graphic novel is an effective medium for memoir writing.
The written word is unlimited through imagination and art is only limited by creation, the two will inevitably mix. Only one question remains, can the combination by any good? As a class we've read five comics, each with their own quirks and lines. I would say all four comics were successful in translating their words into art.
The comics have been strong in dialog, in the inner-thinkings of the people we've met through them. The comics have captured our interest, our emotions, even. Think "Sub Zero" and "“Cancer Made Me a Shallower Person". These two comics earned what any short story could give you through plot. In "Blankets" Craig Thompson's art direction gave the reader an intense description simply by staring at the page.
Yes, by every stretch of the imagination the graphic novel should be considered an effective format for memoir writing. Because, hell, people are too busy to read descriptions, why not show them. Winky Face.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Prompt 45: Adventures in Solitude
The rack of clothing in the dressing room is crammed with thin material that can hardly be called shirts. Customers walk by, fling their poorly chosen clothes onto the metal bar and walk back out to the floor of the store. Within an hour of opening, the dressing room is utter chaos. The entrance is only big enough for one worker, so she struggles to organize the clothing. Customers moving, walkie talkers blasting and employees scrambling to find go-backs for their section: the dressing room.
My movements in the morning hours were stealthy. I would pick up fallen clothes, fold wrinkly displays and secure any loose hangers without being seen. It was quite possible that I was the most productive worker on the floor but, like Batman, my good deeds went unnoticed. Customers were not ignored despite my penchant for silent production. The vast majority of the time, my friendly greeting would be shrugged off. "How are you this morning, do you need any help with anything today?" I would say with a smile made of gold. "No, I'm just.. no thanks." At least this response was audible.
Once in a while I would find a normal person for a customer and almost forget how to act in a social situation. "Let me ask you a question; what is your favorite song for this day?" She asked. "Dresses are loca - wait." Flabbergasting. Some of my fellow employees were quite unique as well. Case and point, my first manager. She was tall with long brown hair and always wore heels, which was strange because retail doesn't allow much time to sit. Her voice was breathy, yet still boisterous. I never quite caught her name the first few days, I could have sworn I heard people call her Nick. A bit different, I thought. Then, I overheard my fellow employees refer to her as him. Curious. It was about this time I noticed she had an Adams apple. She, or rather he, really just had a knack for cross dressing. Well-played, Nickolaus, well-played.
Even though I was surrounded by these interesting people, I found it was best to play Walter Mitty. With my arms full of go-backs I would briskly walk around in the sections with a soccer ball at my feet and a stadium of fans cheering my ever move. "Here comes Riddle down the right side, step over, step over, a burst of speed! Genius! Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! GOAAALLLL!" The crowd loves me! My co-workers don't even notice because they're in their own world, just like me.
My movements in the morning hours were stealthy. I would pick up fallen clothes, fold wrinkly displays and secure any loose hangers without being seen. It was quite possible that I was the most productive worker on the floor but, like Batman, my good deeds went unnoticed. Customers were not ignored despite my penchant for silent production. The vast majority of the time, my friendly greeting would be shrugged off. "How are you this morning, do you need any help with anything today?" I would say with a smile made of gold. "No, I'm just.. no thanks." At least this response was audible.
Once in a while I would find a normal person for a customer and almost forget how to act in a social situation. "Let me ask you a question; what is your favorite song for this day?" She asked. "Dresses are loca - wait." Flabbergasting. Some of my fellow employees were quite unique as well. Case and point, my first manager. She was tall with long brown hair and always wore heels, which was strange because retail doesn't allow much time to sit. Her voice was breathy, yet still boisterous. I never quite caught her name the first few days, I could have sworn I heard people call her Nick. A bit different, I thought. Then, I overheard my fellow employees refer to her as him. Curious. It was about this time I noticed she had an Adams apple. She, or rather he, really just had a knack for cross dressing. Well-played, Nickolaus, well-played.
Even though I was surrounded by these interesting people, I found it was best to play Walter Mitty. With my arms full of go-backs I would briskly walk around in the sections with a soccer ball at my feet and a stadium of fans cheering my ever move. "Here comes Riddle down the right side, step over, step over, a burst of speed! Genius! Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! GOAAALLLL!" The crowd loves me! My co-workers don't even notice because they're in their own world, just like me.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Peer Review
Alyssa: Prompt 42 - Very short, and a side effect of shortness is being conciseness. This felt like a carpe diem piece, the "monotony" of everyday life that can slap the apathy out of you. Your next piece, "Unjustified eating" is, more or less, another statement story about the extremes of eating. The style, while contrasting the two, is nonchalant. That seems to be your overall style, to me at least, the sort of breathless tone.
Chelsee: Your first piece, "Hurt" describes the melancholy atmosphere of a funeral. Unfortunately, we've all been there and felt what you wrote. The style coincides nicely with the story and the language was appropriate. "Autism Awareness Month" was a good piece about the treatment of those with autism. I feel your disdain for those who treat others so poorly. I liked your story.
Leena: "Sleep Walkers" I see what you did there with the large font. I'm assuming this was based on a night before a test or finals. If so, that seems about right. The style was right for tireless activity. Your next one, "Unjustified Revenge" aptly fits the oxymoronic title. People are fun, aren't they? I thought this was a good story, it kept the reader interested and didn't veer off course. Even though it was, what I assume to be, an emotional piece for you to write, you managed to remain within yourself.
Chelsee: Your first piece, "Hurt" describes the melancholy atmosphere of a funeral. Unfortunately, we've all been there and felt what you wrote. The style coincides nicely with the story and the language was appropriate. "Autism Awareness Month" was a good piece about the treatment of those with autism. I feel your disdain for those who treat others so poorly. I liked your story.
Leena: "Sleep Walkers" I see what you did there with the large font. I'm assuming this was based on a night before a test or finals. If so, that seems about right. The style was right for tireless activity. Your next one, "Unjustified Revenge" aptly fits the oxymoronic title. People are fun, aren't they? I thought this was a good story, it kept the reader interested and didn't veer off course. Even though it was, what I assume to be, an emotional piece for you to write, you managed to remain within yourself.
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