Katie Arrivas - “The Mysterious Burnt Piano” I thoroughly enjoyed the story, although I condemn the burning of a grand piano, regardless of its physical state. The storyline was good, an entire night summed up in a few paragraphs with one or two detailed conversations is impressive. The grammatical offender was in the first paragraph with “they’re”, something which would surely be caught with one more proof read. Your “Best Friendships” is all sorts of bitter-sweet. Very well done establishing mood, voice, tone and whatever other literary devices we were supposed to use. Although, I did find use of alliteration disturbingly low. If there’s one thing I don’t like about all of our pieces, it’s that they’re too short to really establish any merit. But we perform well with the length used.
Kimberley Thomas - “Not Ready to Forget” You put one hell of a voice in this one, and I can clearly see why. Generally when people feel outraged about a subject, they tend to rant and spiel off topic, ceasing to form cohesive sentences. However you walk that line well and use things I like to call “facts” to bolster your point of view. I don’t want to watch that video you posted because I know some tears will form. “You May Find Peace…” Powerful. Your mood, tone, voice, emotion, rhythm, everything was inspiring. I mean, I’m not even a fan of Peter Gabrielle, never grew towards Genesis, but I may just be a fan of his now.
Nicola Simmons - “Proposed Changes” While there’s no way I can fully understand, I try put myself in your position. I can see how having a different government impede on your rights as a sovereign people is infuriating. I try to understand as much as I can. Your heartfelt arguments came through as a rant to me. Which is unfortunate because as a writer like yourself, wonderful arguments can be made that do not place blame on a government when the actions of a twisted individual are to fault.
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