Peer Review: Group Two: Week Two

Katie Arivas - With prompt #5: Grandpa, I liked how you told what seemed like a fairly busy day, and slowed it down to the voice of your grandpa. I tried to imagine an older voice narrating, but my mind kept reverting back to the little child. Re-reading I managed to get the older voice. In any case my one critique is one I do myself, which is a few too many comas. They can run on the sentences and sometimes lose interest.

I enjoyed your kitchen prompt, I love pets, even cats, so this story was easy for me to connect to. The dialogue about naming the cat was also amusing. That seems about how every conversation about naming a cat goes. They usually have colored feet so socks is always an option. My own cat is called Sneakers. My critique of this prompt is on the second to last paragraph. It’s very short, and while still connected to your subject, the cat, it seems out of the way. If it were elaborated on a bit, I think the story as a whole would benefit.

For your autobiography of… I very much so enjoyed the authenticity of the story. Without getting into too many details, you summed up the experience nicely. I really couldn’t find any improvements. It was very well done.

Kimberly Thomas - The voice in “The autobiography of a Migrant Mother” was absolutely wonderful. I really enjoyed your description of the church, you had seamless transitions. There isn't any helpful advice I can really give you, you're writing is great.

Nicola Simmons - All of your writing was so culturally filling. I remember back in grade school I had a teacher who was Hopi, and she would tell stories from her perspective of birth of a Hopi child. I was reminded of her in both of your prompts. It seems like prompt #7 and #5 can go hand in hand which is good, because both were exceptional. My critique, I suppose, would be to go in depth with a few things. You overview it wonderfully, I’m very interested to hear closer stories.

Mickey Pagel - I really like the voice in your writing, you just have to submit your prompts on time so we can give them the attention the deserve!