Peer Review: Group Four

Alyssa: I liked your first person prompt, it seems like this happened fairly recently because we weren't given a concrete conclusion. For your third person prompt, it wasn't written in the third person narrative. It was done literary in the third person which, I suppose, still counts. While the first person prompt was a bit withdrawn - exact to your character - the, um, third person prompt was more head strong. Prompt 33 had a feeling of chaos and disorganization. Just the feeling, however, structurally everything was sound. That may have been something interesting, using different sentence structure to convey a sense of disorientation. Though, your style of flowing chaos worked well.

Chelsee: First Person Prompt - I know that patient role very, very well, so I'm aware of the atmosphere you convey. I wanted to be amused, because I can find almost anything amusing, but as the story unfolded I found I was fearing the needle almost as much as you! Your voice seeped through well and the story was better for it. Third Person Prompt - I find it interesting how all of our third person stories are shorter and much less developed than the first person point of view. I'm not picking on you, we could all do a better job of creating depth in the story. Though for the shot prompts that have been submitted, yours is again done well.

Leena: Same as I commented with Chelsee, your first person post is much more insightful than your third person. The first person provides that sense of longing, that desire to be popular. The third person post takes the side of the "popular" kids. They view you as an outsider, someone who simply cannot fit in. I've seen in all of our third person posts, that we use the third person as a way to make sense of the first person perspective. Little reasons why the others react the way they do. In this case, you could not be popular because you were different. For prompt 33, your voice is established early is with clear disdain for changing in locker rooms. Another observation, which all of us commit, is that our writings are really too short to really clarify any of our ideas. Instead of writing these short stories that we've been doing in class, we have points of ideas we try to get across in a few paragraphs at most. But I digress, "Magic Moments" creates the uncomfortable vibe we all felt that first time changing in a locker room.